Times

I know I need you I need to love you I love to see you, and its been so long I long to feel you I feel this need for you and I need to hear you is that so wrong? Now you pull me near you When we're close I fear you Still I'm afraid to tell you All that I've done Are you done forgiving? Or can you pass my pretending? Lord I'm so tired of defending What I've become What have I become? I hear you say "My love is over, its underneath, its inside, its in between the times you doubt me, when you can't feel the times that you've questioned 'is this for real?' the times you've broken, the times that you mend the times you hate me and the times that you bend well my love is over, its underneath its inside, its in between, these times you're healing and when your heart breaks the times that you feel like you've fallen from grace the times you're hurting the times that you heal the times you go hungry and attempted to steal in times of confusion and chaos and pain I'm there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame I'm there through your heartache I'm there in the storm my love I will keep you by my power alone I don't care where you've fallen, where you have been I'll never forsake you my love never ends, it never ends" Tenth Avenue North

So it's been a few days, week, even months now since I last updated. And a lot has happened. I could try to enumerate a few things, but when enumerated I find that actually not a lot has changed. I went to Frenzy, that was fun, a week later I jetted off to America. That was... a mix. Fun at times, difficult a lot of the time. I don't know that I learned very much from the experience, other than I thought I had changed in a year but really, I haven't that much. The same things still frustrate me, and I generally react in a similar manner. And I go back to old habits a lot faster than expected. But God is faithful, and he has been faithful all summer. Looking back at prayers I prayed in June, I have seen so many of them answered. In God's timing. That's the answer right there. He knows what he's doing, and that is very comforting right now. I have realised in recent days the importance of a routine in my life. I never knew I needed it before now. I made some wonderful friends at camp this summer, and my closest friends are Northern Irish, which makes life easier. I also met a lot of wonderful people in West Virginia but they live in America. It was very sad leaving them. But I was very glad to meet them. Last month, I moved into a lovely wee flat with a lovely girl, with a lovely view on the crags. It often smells of baking. And it is usually clean. I have origami stars hanging from my window, dried roses hanging from my wall and Bible verses over our bathroom sink. It's lovely. Our flat often has visitors which makes it even lovelier. So there's a wee nutshell for you. :)