Satisfied in God alone

It totally hit me tonight at homegroup that we're not there only to meet with each other, nor just to pray, but to meet with God. Like God is there in that living room with us. I just found that amazing all over again. It was a fantastic feeling, one that brought me to tears. There are so many things to bring to God just now. I find myself praying all the time, almost litterally. I often think of things when I'm walking, only I go on a tangent when I pray in my head. One thing that we talked about in Discipleship Explored on Sunday was praying out loud in the street. And so that people don't think you're a looney, just put your phone to your ear. So I've been doing that the past couple of days and it's been great. To be able to chat with God in the street, out loud, and no one has any idea just how important the person on the end of the line is, nor how interested He is in the stupid things I tell Him and ask Him about. Of course some of the things I talk about are not stupid at all, there in fact quite serious. No matter, the person on the end of the line is the one person I would want to be speaking to about them all, at any time. At DE, we also talked about being happy even in sadness. It's about being satisfied in God alone. I'm closer to that point than I was 4 years ago, I actually closer to that point than I was yesterday, but I have this feeling that I still have a long way to go. And I want God to teach me to be satisfied in only Him, but that would involve suffering would it not. So ok, I'm going to leap, and say it. I want to be satisfied in God alone. So Lord, do what it takes for me to get there.

Update...

Each time I think of updating my mind goes blank as to what to update about. I leave my job in 2 weeks. 2 weeks!!! Then I'm going to Paris for 10 days and then I'm going to camp. Time flies. Tomorrow evening some people from Index are going out for an evening of fun at Oddfellows. Any indexers reading this (that would be about 2) are more than welcome to join from 8:30pm, and anyone else who feels like coming along, come along too! It'll be fun. On Wednesday Sarah my old flatmate will be in town so we will be meeting up. I'm looking forward to that! I haven't seen her in a long time. We have alot of catching up to do. And other than that, work's been hard these past few days. Issues with a parent mainly. We've been told that we're not doing our jobs properly, and have taken abuse from this parent. My boss has been shouted at, other people's children have been told off and been made to feel uncomfortable, each member of staff is reticent to speak to her. So it's not great there just now. At Discipleship Explored we have been going through Philippians on Sundays, but have other passages to go through in the week. This week was all on the sermon on the mount. The whole not worrying about tomorrow and about food, drink or clothes is always something I need to hear. I am a worrier. I worry about everything. Or lots of things at least. And I remind myself that "God's got it" in Nadia's words, but it's always good to read passages like Matthew 6:25 - 34: "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. And finally, here are the words from a song that was played at Index on Sunday night which I love. It's speaking about God's faithfulness and my unfaithfulness. In Foy Vance's words, "a better friend I could never find; though I hurt his feeling I know he would never hurt mine." Wedding dress if you could love me as a wife and for my wedding gift, your life should that be all i’ll ever need or is there more i’m looking for and should i read between the lines and look for blessings in disguise to make me handsome, rich, and wise is that really what you want i am a whore i do confess but i put you on just like a wedding dress and i run down the aisle i’m a prodigal with no way home but i put you on just like a ring of gold and i run down the aisle to you so could you love this bastard child though i don’t trust you to provide with one hand in a pot of gold and with the other in your side i am so easily satisfied by the call of lovers less wild that i would take a little cash over your very flesh and blood because money cannot buy a husband’s jealous eye when you have knowingly deceived his wife -Derek Webb

Pot de Départ

A word about France.


Our dear president has departed (finally) and left his place to someone who I still need to make my mind up. He will most likely bring change. But a little too forcefully perhaps? I would rather have him than someone who got to where she was because she's a woman. That's kind of a cop out.


A word about me.
So aside from this, my week has been a good one. A long one it has seemed, probably because I have been awake for so many of the hours that have constituted it.

I have finished exams, been to the embassy, worked, and done lots of thinking.

Thinking because I'ver had plenty of travel time to do so, and because I've been given matereal to be thinking about - foundations, index, Discipleship Explored, Acts 22 which is about giving your testimony and a trip out of Scotland.

I was inspired by Knowing God by J.I. Packer (or just one sentence in the book) to write a poem about God just from three words: "Behold your God!" So I did. But it's not great yet. I thought of attributes that God has, one for each letter of the alphabet, trying to give as complete a picture as possible of the God I know and the God who made me. It' impossible - I wanted for example to put in "compassionate", but if I did that, I couldn't put in "creator". Both these are essential parts of God's character. Doh! So there'll have to be compromise...

A word about Scotland.
I am in love with Scotland. I will go to other places, and for the most part enjoy them, but there is something special about Scotland. I can't quite put my finger on it, it is something I would recognise anywhere. Perhaps the gorse bushes and rugged hills. Or the wee lambs galloping. Or that word, "wee". And "aye". The varied accents from area to are, sometimes town to town. But they're all still recognisably Scottish (except maybe Glasgow's...) The castles, cathedrals, other monuments and ruins. Wind farms in the distance. The clean, friendsly trains with that "scotrail smell". The ancient stone walls, the song of the birds. Scots pine and Douglas fir. But most of these could be anywhere. Perhaps it's all these things combined. There's just a feeling. And it's this that I love.
Of course Scotland has it's flaws, a strong pagan heritage still existant and celebrated today, excessive drunkenness and regualr vomitting in the streets, the swearing every second word just to name a few.But I love it, I can't help myself. In spite of these things, Scotland is my love, and the scots, bless them, are its people.

And to finish, a picture of my recent-ish trip to Paris. This was in the Tuilleries, where there was a professional photoshoot going one. We decided to do our own.

And this is mum, dad, me, Janelle and Lynsey having a lovely dad-cooked BBQ. Oh the excitement!