Time...

I have 10 days off... what shall I do with my time? I know, to start off, I will make a list! I love to make lists. Whether I use them or not is irrelevant of course. So let's see. - Climb up to the Abbey besides Arthur's Seat. - Purchase a new journal - 20 pages will not last very long! - Read through to the end of 2 Samuel. - Organize all my camp papers and an interview at the US embassy. - Go to Northern Ireland to see Ruth. - Walk along the Water of Leith - Print off some recent pictures. - Take more pictures. - Tidy my room!!!! That's just a start... we'll see what the next 10 days hold. Time for God, time for me, time for others. It's gonna be great!

Speaking of Change...

This week is Holy Week. How exciting! I mean, I got the day off on Thursday and Friday, AND I have Monday off too... amazing. Seriously though, reflecting o the cross any time is wonderful, but when everyone else is at the same time, and there are crosses on buns to remind you as you walk around tesco, and setting up an "Easter" playlist on your itunes with plenty of cross-centered songs, ahhh, so good! I love Easter! Any time is a good time to sing praises to Lord of all creation. But today particularly. I love the words of a song by Starfield - Son of God. Son of God Shaper of the stars You alone The dweller of my heart Mighty King How beautiful You are How beautiful Son of God The Father's gift to us You alone Were broken on the altar of love Precious Lamb Our freedom's in your blood It's in Your blood. Jesus Oh Holy One I sing to You Forgiven Saviour I'm overcome With Your great love for me Son of God Strength beyond compare You alone The darkness cannot bear Lord of love Your kindness draws me near It draws me Son of God Prophesy of old You alone Redeemer of my soul Come again And lead Your people home Come lead us home You are worthy, You are worthy, You are worthy of all my praise You are beautiful, You are beautiful, I will lift up my hands and sing Amazing. What a gift! Nothing can compare. Even when the sun's shining, things in all areas of life are good, exciting, and enjoyable, nothing comes close to the joy I find in Christ. In fact, I've found the past few days that as much as I'm enjoying life, enjoying these things makes me want to worship God even more and has caused me to enjoy Him more. I don't know where to start. I went to see my friends the Essams for a couple of days. Whilst I was there, God showed Marie Anne the most amazing thing. This was one of the only topics of conversation for the weekend (well not really, but it came up over and over) and I think it is well worth sharing. Galatians 2:20 in most versions says something along these lines: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Notice "I live by faith IN the Son of God" Now, the KJV and the Greek (as we found out by calling Alan Compton) says this: "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Notice "I live by the faith OF the Son of God" How amazing. We have Jesus' faith. As Oswald Chambers said, "this faith is not Paul's faith in Jesus Christ, but the faith that the Son of God has imparted to him - "the faith of the Son of God." It is no longer faith in faith, but faith which has overleapt all conscious bounds, the identical faith of the Son of God."

One point of focus

What comfort there is in these words. "The Christian knows no change with regard to God. He may be rich today and poor tomorrow; he may be sickly today and well tomorrow; he may be in happiness today, tomorrow he may be distressed - but there is no change with regard to his relationship to God. If he loved me yesterday, he loves me today. My unmoving mansion of rest is my blessed Lord." -Charles Spurgeon "The ultimate ground of our rejoicing can never be our circumstances, even though we as Christians recognize that our circumstances are providentially arranged. If our joy derives primarily from our circumstances, then when our circumstances change, we will be miserable. Our delight must be in the Lord himself. That is what enables us to live with joy above our circumstances. As Nehemiah puts it, “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Neh. 8:10). Perhaps that is one of the reasons why the Lord sometimes allows miserable circumstances to lash us—that we may learn this lesson.…Whatever the mysteries of evil and sorrow, they do have the salutary effect of helping believers to shift the ground of their joy from created things to the Creator, from the temporary to the eternal, from jingoism to Jesus, from consumption to God." -D.A. Carson Yesterday I was reading through one of my favorite books, Disciplines of a Godly Woman by Barbara Hughes, and one of the appendices says this. Or at least these were the bits I wrote down. I am not the point. He is. It is not about me getting out of suffocating pain. It is about His Son being revealed in me, about God's image being released in me. I need to yield to the instrument of refinement He has chosen in my life, and confess that I don't know how to yield, that I am helpless and angry. But I am willing to be taught. May He teach me through the word to trust Him and understand who He is in His love and mercy. The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different circumstance. The beloved of the Lord dwells in safety. The High God surrounds him all day long, and he dwells between His shoulders. (Deut. 33:12) Oh what a joyful and comforting thing, to know that I am right there, in God's arms, resting on his chest, between His shoulders.

You Make All Things New

I feel like everything is constantly changing. But things just slide into each other, so unless you stop to think, life seems like one long series of uneventful. All the same.

Well things change. For starters, I have a new sister.
Isn't she beautiful? Her name's Beki. But you probably already knew that.

I also have a new fringe. Aka bangs. Why bangs? I have no idea. At least fringe is kind of "on the edge"... "edgy"... whatever. But bangs? Nevermind.


And a new phone with a new number. I was about to say "Text me if you want it" but that would be pointless. So email me if you want it!

And then everything else has changed very little actually. I'mdone reading Numbers, and I'm not gonna lie, it's somewhat of a relief. That said, it's more interesting than Leviticus, and I learned about Aaron and Joshua which was cool. So Deuteronomy, here goes!

Onto things of more consequence I guess. It's been a tough time the past week or two. Though I am content in Christ, I am at times not content with the situations He puts me in. This would be one of those times. It's a time of battling through and taking thoughts captive. But one thing brought me great comfort and a renewed hope last week. The chapter the core teams girls read last week is called Pruned to Bloom. It made the point (among many others) that Satan can ask God's permission to prune us in some way, but he only has the power and authority to do anything if God allows it. Satan cannot do just anything he desires to us. Get that!! And it's in these pruning seasons that God does most of His work in us. God's will for our life is that we become more Holy. So. I'm in. Though I may feel down and confused and so frustrated, impatient also, God will use it all for His glory, making me more like Him each moment I get through by His strength alone.

Of course even in tough times there have been may enjoyable moments. Raclette with Leanne, walking round an illustration/writing exhibition, breakfast with Cecily, Sardines in Carubbers with 14 students, Mafia with those same students, good conversations with a whole array of people, lunch with students and families, an awesome Praise Night, walking through the sunny meadows, ...

My Everything

One of my New Years Resolutions was to read the Bible cover to cover this year. I'm half way through Leviticus, and so far it's pretty tough going!! But goodness. My life has been one lesson after another to learn. That said, it has been a joyful time of learning. I am excited to get to December and see how much I have learned and grown in 2008. Because even just getting to the end of January and looking back on the past month, things have changed. My focus has shifted and is closer to where it should be.

A woman in my home group came up to me yesterday and told me I had a confident sparkle about me these days. I'm excited that God in me is showing on the outside.

Last weekend was the Index Weekend Away. Daniel, one of Carrubbers' missionaries in PNG came to speak to us. His message was so challenging and so encouraging. He spoke on "Only one life; What will you do with yours?" Wow...

Pictures from the weekend include Lizzie, Clair and I on our lovely albeit wet walk, ceilidh dancing, Laura enjoying smores, Wee Anna and Wee Elijah enjoying fellowship, people jumping in the nearby loch (yes, this was Scotland in January) and Dave and Derek enjoying some manly activities, ie, sleeping.









This past week I've been reading a book with an amazing message (if you can get past the American cheese) and challenge to be a set-apart woman. There are a few in each generation who are truly set apart. A whole lot of the book challenged me and has made me think and change, particularly how I use my time, and what goes through my mind, where my true focus is etc. It was like a confirmation of last weekend's message, but it went even further into the subject.

One story described in this book particularly had an impact on me. I've heard Corrie Ten Boom's testimony. But I'd never heard her sister's, Betsy. She was amazing. There were 1400 women slept in a room big enough only for 400. The bedding hay was soiled and rancid. Eight putrid, overflowing toilets served the entire room. The prisoners of Ravensbruck were exhausted and malnourished, and then there were the fleas. They bit incessantly. Betsy prayed for God to show her how to survive in such a place. And then suddenly the answer came. That morning, her and Corrie had read from a tiny New Testament they managed to sneak in to the place; "Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) Betsy started to thank God for everything she could think of. She thanked God that her and Corrie were together. That there was no inspection, so they were able to bring the small New Testament into their prison. She thanked God for the overcrowded room, because they were able to share God with that many more women. And she even thanked God for the fleas. Over the following few weeks, a growing crowd of women gathered each day to read the Bible, first in German, then in French, Polish, Russian, Czech and Dutch. They whispered prayers and sang hymns softly. Soon the atmosphere in the room changed. The shrieks, slaps, curses and sobs turned into pleasant, considerate words and the sound of gentle singing. No matter what happened Betsy kept worshiping her Lord. "Though her body was chilled with fever, her chest heaved with racking coughs, and her limbs shook with weakness, she maintained a joyful, radiant spirit. One day, a furious guard slashed her across the chest with a sharp leather belt for not working fast enough. When Corrie saw what had happened, she grabbed her shovel ad rushed at the guard. But Betsy stepped in front of her before anyone saw her outraged action." She told Corrie to keep on working and not took at her bloody chest, rather, to keep looking at Jesus only. "Look at Jesus only" was the theme of Betsy's entire existence. Oh, and it turns out, those fleas were the reason the women's worship gatherings were never found out - the guards all refused to enter the putrid, flea infested room.
I want my life to look like that. Always focus on Jesus, always point others to Him.

"God in my living, There in my breathing, God in my waking, God in my sleeping. God in my resting, There in my working, God in my thinking, God in my speaking.
Be my everything, be my everything, be my everything, be my everything.
God in my hoping, There in my dreaming, God in my watching, God in my waiting. God in my laughing, There in my weeping, God in my hurting, God in my healing.
Christ in me, Christ in me, Christ in me the hope of glory, You are everything." Tim Hughes


Ecclesiastes says
There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:

A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.

One I need to keep in mind is that there's a time to shut up...