No sacrifice

To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to To you I sacrifice these dreams that I hold on to Your thoughts are higher than mine Your words are deeper than mine Your love is stronger than mine This is no sacrifice Here's my life To you I give the gifts Your love has given me How can I hoard the treasures that you've designed for free? Because Your thoughts are higher than mine Your words are deeper than mine Your love is staronger than mine This is no sacrifice Here's my life To you I give my future as long as it may last To you I give my present To you I give my past Because Your thoughts are higher than mine Your words are deeper than mine Your love is stronger than mine Your thoughts are higher than mine This is no sacrifice Here's my life (c) No Sacrifice, Jason Upton A couple of days ago I just said to Arpita, "If this doesn't work out, God has something better in store." She replied that she wished she could say that and believe it like I do. Though she doesn't believe God's in control, she still asked me to pray for her today. If there's one thing I am doing, it's that!!

Christmas Collection

Boots are being very generous this year. They have this "Christmas collection" of sandwiches. They're really good. Today for my lunch I got a Brie and Cranberry one which was so nice, but even better, check it out. On the packet, it says "I have a festive hat and joke inside!". That, is quality. And not any old joke did I get, either. It was a penguin biscuit, Christmas cracker, carambar type of joke. I think I should share it with you. Be prepared. "Why was Santa's little helper depressed? He had a low elf esteem!" Ahahahahaha haha ha. And I considered wearing the festive hat around all day, but I have this advent rule that nothing christmassy will be done or watched or listened to until the first of December. Except I've got a couple of presents for Joe and Nathan already. But that doesn't count. We did the coolest thing at Index on Sunday night. Naomi and Barnes got us to pray for the person to our left. So we spent a few minutes sharing our prayer needs with the person to our lefts. How did that work? As we were all wondering this, Jonah stood up and commented on the impossibility or asking people's backs for their prayer needs. That was funny. It worked in the end though... I shared my prayer needs with Jonah first then got Leanne's prayer needs from her, and then we spent 5 minutes in prayer for each other. I think our table got prayed for the most, because we all silently prayed for each other whereas other tables took it in turns to pray for the people to their lefts. So each person only got a few seconds, whereas we all got a full 5 minutes of praying. That's called efficiency. It was really good to spend a little time in prayer, with Sundays being such busy days I rarely actually spend time alone praying to God. Sure we pray in church and stuff, but it's not quite the same. Best day of the week? Sunday. No sweat. Classes are now finished for the term, roll on revision and revision and revision. But check me out, I actually sat down last night and made a plan of all the things I need to do, booked days in the library in my diary so nothing can come between me and my books. I'm over half way with my SVQ3 coursework. I'm just under 9 months in, and aim to finish it by June so I'm almost on course. I just have this huge project that's finally been given to me so I can get on with that also, so it should all work out. Nice one. Oh yeah and God totally answers prayer! Especially when it's according to His will and in His time. I've just seen so many answers in the past 3 weeks or so. It's been mind blowing.

A reminder of God's promise...That's Calton Hill by the way. I think I've mentioned it before.

Proverbs 16:9

Well, I am glad to say I have calmed down a little! I'd been hyper for about 10 days, but finally calmed down on Tuesday evening." This Sunday night I got about 4 hours sleep and ate very little on Monday and again on Tuesday, though Tuesday was better! On Tuesday night I went to the Carrubbers prayer meeting which was really good. I love this church. Suddenly I've felt myself propelled forwards and so hungry to get to know God better. I've loved Him all my life, no doubt about that, but now all I want is Him. Nothing else matters. Sure, there are other things in my life still, but I'm finding myself wanting to talk about Him and with Him and finding out more about Him all the time. I have made some good friends at my church now. But the coolest thing is that our friendships are all based on God. We've shared more thoughts about God together than details of each others lives. Only on Sunday did one find out I lived in France most of my life, when I've known her for about a month! Alarge part of this I think has been the series of studies/talks we've been doing at Index. "Who is God and what is He like?" Such challenging stuff and the conversations and personal study that has resulted from them has been fantastic! I find myself being unable to not speak about God with my flatmates who are not christians. Suddenly I have this boldness and carefree attitude to what they will think of me. And they've been asking me more questions than they had before, even though from day one we've been talking about God together. Before coming to uni I was pretty self-concious and this has dissapeared some over the past 3 1/2 years, I've found it easier to talk about God, but recently it comes so naturally. I guess when you really love somebody you can't help but speak about them all the time and to everyone! Yesterday at work, one of the little boys asked me to remind him of the differences between christian and catholic. By this I took it to mean what are the differences between protestant faith and catholic faith. So I told him again (we'd talked about this before) and he said he believed what I said christians believe. He goes to a catholic school, but is a really intelligent 8 year old, always questioning everything. I feel so priviledged that he would come to ask me about this and want to know what I believe. Then we went on to talk about the muslim faith and the jewish faith. I was amazed that I was having such a conversation with an 8-year-old. This is what God thinks of you: "You're a person of great worth and potential. And You're a work in progress, I won't stop what I've started until I've finished." "In your heart you plan your course, but the Lord determines your steps"

A Few Pictures To Introduce A Few Things / People.

This is Saint Andrews' Castle ruins. I went to Saint Andrews with Leanne a couple of weeks back, when the weather was still good. Now, the weather is a bit ucky. At least it was today. This is the view you get of Princes Street from one of my favorite places, Calton Hill. Leanne and I missed the train to Saint Andrews by about 15 seconds so whilst waiting the hour that separates trains, we climbed Calton Hill. Loveliness! This is Leanne and I leaning over the edge to watch the waves crash into the wall we were lying on. It was quite breath taking actually! This is Shanaz and my flatmate Arpita dressed up as a shower (yes) and a mouse for Halloween. Shanaz is Arpita's best friend, she comes round a lot so I've got to know her quite well. This is my flatmate Steve who is often called Stevo. He was dressed up as Borat for Halloween but actually doesn't look too different to this normally. He just has a little more facial hair which is currently growing back. Excellent. I never thought I'd say this about anyone, but he looks better with facial hair. This is Katy, Steve's girlfriend and my third flatmate. She was dressed up as Jack Sparrow for Halloween. She also doesn't look very different to this usually, but has less facial hair (again, thankfully). I think her and Jack look strikingly and perhaps worryingly alike. No post would be complete without the fantastic four... Ben, left, was 9 yesterday. Happy Birthday. I love him to bits, he's my little Mouche. Then there's me. Then there's Joe, a rockstar to be. His band is called the Disasterz, he writes the songs, plays lead guitar, sings and lets his hair grow the longest. He's 14. And finally, Nathan, 19. When we were kids we would not cease to argue. We spoke French together, because it's easier to argue in French. Once the arguing calmed down, when I was about 15 I think, we started speaking English to each other and now it's the language we use most of the time because we talk about God most of the time. It's easier (for me at least) to speak about God in English, I read my Bible in English etc. It feels less religious or something. So anyway, that's us, the fantastic four. And those (in big part) responsible for making us the fantastic four that we are! My mum and dad. I miss them so much when I am not with them, yet thanks to them am happily independent. I am where I am with God because of their example and their faith and their prayers. I love them!

Amazed!

You dance over me

While I am unaware

You sing all around

But I never hear the sound

Lord I'm amazed by You

Lord I'm amazed by You

Lord I'm amazed by You

How You love me

You paint the morning sky

With miracles in mind

My hope will always stand

For You hold me in Your hand

How wide

How deep

How great

Is Your love for me

©2004 Vertical Worship Songs

Amazed, Jared Anderson

Wow. God's been so amazing, these past few days I've especially noticed it. Over the past few weeks at Index (youth group at church) we've been looking at "Who is God, what is He like?" How absolutely mind blowing it's been. To be reminded of stuff, to see stuff in a new perspective, to be challenged to look into stuff in more detail. As a result of it, I have such a thirst for God's word, like rarely before. I can't get enough of it, I want to just soak it all in like a giant sponge. On Saturday I went to this thing church is running called Foundations. They don't like to call it a course, but in essence, that's really what it is. It was absolutely amazing. It brought about discussions with people who were there and with others when I talked to them about it.

On Sunday night Leanne and I cooked for Index (about 90 people) which was such fun and a great way to serve. It was awesome to see the eagerness people had to help clean up afterwards as well. What servant hearts. I walked home with Tim, Jonah and Myriam, people I've never really talked to much at church but who all go to Index. It gave me such a boost. We are all at a place in our lives where we want nothing more than to get to know God better, and learn to defend the faith (apologetics). I didn't want to part ways, it helped us get to know each other and I feel like I've known them years when in reality I've only probably ever talked to them 3 hours of my life. We got down to such deep issues strait away.

My friend Jenn is getting baptised on Sunday. Everyone at Index are invited to all go up and eat lunch together and all go along to the baptism service to support her. Such a powerful thing. And so exciting too!

Who is like Him,

The Lion and the Lamb, seated on the throne

Mountains bow down,

Every ocean roars to the Lord of Hosts

Praise Adonai

From the rising of the sun

To the end of every day

praise Adonai

All the nations of the earth,

All the angels and the saints sing praise

Praise Adonai, Paul Baloche

Yay!

Times are changing.

I really should update some time, flip, I've been to Saint Andrews and back since I last wrote. I've learned lots and have had a few ups and a few downs, life has been its usual hectic self with a few added bonuses like finishing my old diary and starting a new one. I love writing in a new book. I've made 5 or 6 new friends at church, lots of "life" news in friend's lives like babies being born, people getting engaged, people getting married, that sort of stuff... nothing of those sorts for me, sometimes it feels like life is going right by me, you know when everyone else is moving from one situation to another and I'm still a single student, still working at the same place as everyone moves on... nothing really new with me at all. But, I'm making a sort of light meal for 90 students and young people tomorrow night with my friend Leanne. That'll be fun times. We're making mini pavlovas. Awesome! There's so much I could write about but my head is fairly blank and I have little time before a hectic evening begins - buying fruit for tomorrow and then an evening with Nadia which'll be good. Just one last thing if I may, if there was any doubt in my mind as to where to go next year (as in June time) like whether to stay in Edinburgh or move back to Paris, that has been removed. As much as I love Edinburgh and my church here especially, I really have been feeling strongly that the time to leave is coming. And so I go. It'll be good!